I’m Beautiful Like Me.

Aunt Ruby is here for a visit. That explains a lot, particularly the boy’s recently grouchiness when it comes to nursing. And my recent voracious appetite (particularly for chocolate) and frequent headaches. In any case, my cycles seem to be back to their good ole 28 days.

Met with Dr. M today. I brought T and the boy along. The nurses were all tickled pink to see him, disbelieving that he could walk or that he’ll be 1 year old in 4 short days. Even the doctor was all “No way!” So, he agreed with me that the lump I found was nothing serious. And he gave me something to help me sleep - thank goodness. I just hafta remember to call the other doc tomorrow and let them know that I’m not interested in the mammogram and/or ultrasound and also make them aware of the other meds the Dr. M prescribed me.

I’ve spent a good part of the day teaching myself how to crochet. What little I have seems kind of pathetic to me, but it’s a good start, too, I think. I’ve successfully learned the single crochet, double crochet and half double crochet. There are four or five additional stitches (of which I am aware) that I haven’t learned yet. It’s a slow process, learning from the net and a book. But I’m enjoying it.

T and the girl went to Oma’s house for the weekend. There’s no school tomorrow (professional day), so it will be a long weekend without them. I will see them again on Sunday at P’s house for Buddha’s birthday. Which reminds me, we still need to get his gift! We’ve decided to get him a toybox.

I’m really tired and feeling yucky again this evening. And the prospect of the impending winter storm does not make me feel any jollier. Blech, I’m ready for Spring! Don’t we set our clocks ahead this weekend, too? Well, whatever. I’m hoping to get some decent sleep tonight and waking in the morning feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.

Monday, I went to get T from the airport. I left the house at 11:25am to get there on time. Did the usual: park, go in, get a gate pass, pass through security check-point and walk 3 miles to the other end of the airport. Her flight was early, which under normal circumstances would be great, but I timed it to arrive on time, so she had already gotten off the plane and found a bathroom. I was ready to start panicking when she came up behind me. I gave her a quick squeeze and told her to dial her mom to let her know she arrived safely. After speaking to her myself briefly, I confiscated the cell phone. Gave T the rundown of the rules at our place and her restrictions for the first couple of weeks. We collected her luggage and headed home.

Later, we hit the library to get her a card and some books. She’s really into ASL and signed the entire conversation we had. Something she’s passionate about, awesome. We discussed the possibility of her being homeschooled for the remainder of the year. Sounds like something we will do. I grabbed some highschool homeschooling books and she grabbed some sign language books.

Back home, we ate dinner together and T crashed early. Joy asked if she could be homeschooled, too. Husband and I finally concluded that we won’t be doing that again with the girl - she’s just not self-motivated enough and I am not patient enough with her. I wish there were a way that it could work out, but I just can’t see us having any success.

Tuesday, T and I drove to Seymour, Indiana to meet up with my OL buddy, S (aka Monkeytoes). We met at Chili’s, had good food, less-than-stellar service and great company. We must’ve hung out there for a couple-three hours. Afterwards we hit up some outlets that turned out to be pretty disappointing, but S and I took a lot of goofy photos. These are my favorites.

I had a great time meeting her and hope that we can hang out again soon in warmer weather.

On the way home, I started feeling pretty icky again. My throat was hurting (from all the talking?) and traffic was fucking hell. I was so happy to get home. I really missed the boy! Husband made pizza for dinner and the girls chowed down, but the boy threw his small bites across the kitchen. Sigh. He was really hard to get down to sleep last night, too.

I had an early morning appointment with the doctor today. I told her about not being able to sleep, but she refused to give me any prescription. I got a strep test which came back negative, but she still gave me a ’script for amoxicillin and 2 ’scripts for Diflucan (because a YI is inevitable - God, I just hope we don’t get thrush, too). They drew more blood for thyroid panels and also to check my cholesterol. Also told her about the lump in my breast and she felt it and ordered me to get a mammogram and ultrasound. Okay? We can’t afford that! I told her I’d see my ob/gyn and have him check it. Frankly, I think it is just hormones and normal female changes from childbirth, nursing and getting my menses back. So I made an appointment to see him tomorrow afternoon. I will also ask him about something to help me sleep while I’m still nursing. Meanwhile, I also scheduled an appointment for Buddha’s one year check-up. I need to make an appointment with a dentist, too, but I am too damn chickenshit for alladat just yet. Plus, we still have outstanding bills from labs I’ve already had and will be incurring more bills with all these upcoming appointments. The state of health care in this country is depressing.

The boy is in a terrible mood today. He’s really taken to throwing food, but screams like he is starving to death. I figured he might be interested in nursing more, but no, he isn’t. He nurses for maybe 3-4 minutes and then wants to get up and play. He gave Husband absolute hell about a nap this afternoon. They are both still sleeping.

D and I have talked daily since T arrived. We think we’ve found a good solution for getting her homeschooled online. We should know relatively soon, too. I just hafta get some things done, D has some things to do on her end and then get her enrolled. Shouldn’t be too hard. In any case, it’s nice to hear from D so often. I miss her fiercely. And T looks so much like her sometimes, it’s almost like having D here. I just wish my throat didn’t hurt, so I could talk to her longer on the telephone!

I got a phone call from D, my best friend in FL, today. I was in the shower when the call came, but noticed right away the missed call and dialed my voicemail. She said it was an emergency. I called right away. Her husband, W, answered the phone and gave me the low-down.

Fast-forward past all the long, drawn-out details, her second eldest daughter, T will be coming here to stay with us for a while. She is going to arrive on Monday morning, just before noon. I will become an overnight guardian to a hormonal, almost-15-year-old teenager. I must’ve lost my mind.

Husband and I bought the boy the Graco Nautilus today. As we were going into Wal*Mart, I asked Husband if we should leave the boy in the bucket seat or take him out. He responded that boy doesn’t really care for the cart seat. I was suddenly reminded why we were there and said we should keep him in the bucket. He won’t have it much longer…

We had to ask an employee to fetch us the seat from the back. I was nervous that they were gonna be sold out. The lady emerged a moment later, box in arms. I felt exhilirated. We also bought the boy his very first ball. To make it extra special, we bought two - different-sized ones. As we were in the checkout line, I was overwhelmed by Buddha’s impending milestones and felt the need to cry. Husband poked some fun at me, but he’s understanding, too. It’s crazy how fast this past year has went by.

When we got home, we excitedly put the seat together. It’s an amazing piece, really. He will be able to use it for a long, long time (which hopefully will pass slowly!). We showed the boy the seat, sat him in it for a bit and finally strapped him in to make sure the belts are above the shoulder before installing it. He seemed quite content to chill in it!

Also, in the mail today came our new checkcards for our new bank account. We both enrolled for online banking and into the points program. Just waiting on our checks and then we will close the other account for good. I also got $100 from the girl’s dad in the mail today… about damn time!

Unfortunately, I still feel pretty under the weather. I called and made an appointment with the doctor’s office yesterday - I’ll be seen on Wednesday. I’ve got to have more bloodwork then, too, to check my thyroid again. I’m a little nervous that this sore throat might mean my thyroid is swollen or growing. I’m equally as nervous to hear it’s strep throat. If I have to take antibiotics, I’ll end up with a YI and - knowing my luck - the boy and I will both get thrush again. At least I have a ginormous bottle of GSE on hand! Let’s hope it’s nothing to worry over.

Woke up feeling pretty icky again today. Did manage to get some chores done, though. Husband took mom’s Jeep for an oil-change and fill-up, ready for her arrival tonight. I got an email from her boyfriend that her first flight was delayed. Joy. Luckily, P was kind enough to come sit with the kids at 10pm when I went to get mom from the airport. Glad she’s back. The girl accompanied her home for the weekend. I’m unsure if it is to visit with Oma or with Oscar (Oma’s dachshund).

Yesterday, I awoke feeling only marginally better, but as the day continued, I began feeling pretty good. I was still pretty askeered of Husband going to work, leaving me here to deal with two less-than-100% kids when I’m still feeling less-than-100% myself! However, it turned out to be a pretty okay evening (thank goodness!). Even still, I was pretty useless. I did make Husband some lunch to take to work. Major accomplishment

Feeling markedly better today. I managed to start a couple of loads of laundry and have been thinking all morning about getting to the massive pile of dishes that have accumulated in the sink whilst we have all been sick. I’m avoiding, but I know I’ll get around to it eventually today. I’m also procrastinating making any decisions for dinner. My appetite is still not up to par. Even still, I wanted a Hot Brown so bad the other evening. Husband and I combined our efforts and made it for the first time. It was simply delish!

On Wednesday, Husband went to work as usual. It was nightmarish for me. Buddha was starting to get sick, too and was fussy and fevered. The girl cried that her head hurt, but refused an meds. At 1am, I finally got the boy to sleep in our bed. The girl awoke howling about her headache and running a fever, too. Oh, it was quite miserable. I left Husband a note that he was to take the next few days off to help take care of me and the kids.

Thursday, I spent most of the day lying on the couch in complete misery. We kept Joy home from school, but she claimed to have been miraculously healed overnight. Turned out to be no major loss, as school was released at 11:30am due to incoming inclement weather. She was headachey and stuffy throughout most of the day, with poor appetite. The boy was whiney and wanted to be held and nursed a lot. Also had no appetite.

Today was only slightly better in terms of my own health. I still woke up feeling like death warmed over, but better than the past two days. School was on a delay, so Husband got the girl off to the bus around 10:30am. Again, I hung out on the couch most of the day watching movies, however, the boy was much more cranky and preferred screaming at me to cuddling with me. Husband was much less patient with me today and enjoyed irritating the snot out of me.

Ugh, I just want to feel better. I hate feeling so miserable.

I have been totally worthless today. I woke up early this morning. Husband and I had planned to get our taxes done at H&R Block first thing this morning. I took a shower and he made breakfast and took a shower, too. Afterwards, it was nearing Buddha’s naptime, and Husband was feeling queasy from breakfast. So we decided to just all lie down for a nap together. A couple of hours later, I vaguely recollect being pretty nasty to Husband when he tried waking me up. Poor guy. An hour later, I finally woke up, too. I felt terrible. Husband went to file taxes without me. I cried, my body ached so much. When he came home at around 4:30pm, I went straight to sleep and slept until almost 11pm. I’m certain I only woke because my body ached so badly and I was a bit hungry. Husband made me some toast, which I gobbled down. I’ll prolly return to bed very soon. Hopefully, I will feel better tomorrow.