I’m Beautiful Like Me.

I called in to work last Friday. I didn’t necessarily have a good reason, but I didn’t need one. The boss told me to take Monday off, too, since it was a holiday and we’d be slow: banks were closed and our restaurant’s guests are primarily bankers. I went in on Tuesday, but heard from the others that it was even slower than on Monday and ultimately, I was relieved early.

My brother, Big Rob, had taken the day off from his job and came in to lunch at my restaurant just as I was headed out. My parking meter was already paid up for another hour and a half, so we decided to have lunch together somewhere else. We passed a sushi restaurant just browsing the streets of downtown Lou-Evil and he really wanted to eat there. I don’t particularly like seafood and am really very unadventurous when it comes to exotic food anyway, but I told him I would keep him company. I did try his Ginger salad and liked it, so I ordered my own. I even ate it with chopsticks!

We talked about the new business our mom is in negotiations to buy that Big Rob will operate. I offered to help and we discussed that at great length. It was nice having lunch with my brother. We have a long and complicated history that is marred by long separations of both distance and spirit. It’s good to have him back in my life and I hope he knows that I don’t take it for granted.

That evening, Husband and I spoke a long time about my crazy. For the short period of time that I was at work on Tuesday, I felt the prickly butterflies of an impending panic attack that left as soon as I walked out of the restaurant. I had talked with Big Rob about it, too. Of course, he thought the relief came with his arrival (and perhaps it did - he has a commanding presence that attracts attention, therefore distracting me from my introspection). In any case, I suspect the general feeling of oppressiveness is originating from the people for whom I work. I want so badly to like this job but I just cannot talk myself into it. I’m very unhappy there. I work a measly 3 - 3.5 hours only to feel completely mentally and spiritually exhausted for the remainder of the day. I dread going in. I need something else and very soon.

Blissfully, the boss called me Wednesday morning and told me to take the day off since we’ve been “so damn slow.” Husband and I took care of a few errands and took the baby to lunch. While at lunch, he got called for a job, which he handled later in the afternoon while Buddha and I went shopping. Big Rob stopped over and I typed up some papers for him.

I didn’t get a call on Thursday morning, so I begrudgingly went in. We were so painfully slow, the day dragged. After work, I rushed over to an appointment - I got a call back for the job interview I had last week. I’m still nervous about getting my hopes up, but I did hear that not everyone got a call back. I also heard that it’d be about a week before I’d know if I make the final call back: a one-on-one interview with the doctor. My heart sank at that one: I’d hafta go back to the restaurant for at least another week.

Sigh.

I woke up in good spirits today, though and held a good mood for most of the work day, despite the incessant telling-me-things-I-already-know from the boss. I noticed for the first time that the kitchen manager shows preference to one of the waitresses and will sell her food before everyone else’s. I had one table that waited over half an hour for 2 fish sandwiches and a cheeseburger. These people are on their lunch breaks and don’t have time to fuck around this long for a bite to eat. One of the ladies asked to speak to the boss. When I went to fetch him, he screamed at me for “talking to my tables too much,” and proceeded to get into a pissing match with the woman, who stomped out angrily. Seriously. That fouled my mood a bit.

After work, I kidnapped Joy from the last hour of school to take her to get that haircut she’s been buggin’ about for the past two weeks. The lady in the office informed me that she’d had 8 - EIGHT!!! - tardies this school year! Joy pouted and wanted to know why I was picking her up early since she’d be missing the classroom ice cream party. I scowled at her and said nothing. We got into the car and I told her we were going to get her hair cut and she immediately perked up. She asked me not to be mad at her about being late. I agreed to drop it as long as she promised it would never happen again and she’d do dishes all weekend without complaint. She agreed and we had quite a good time. I don’t particularly care for the long side-swept bangs she got, but she likes it and - as I told her - that’s all that matters. We had dinner together at McDonald’s and stopped to get the boys something on our way home. She ran out as soon as we got home to show off her new ‘do.

A bit later, Big Rob came over and accompanied Joy and I to her school’s basketball game to see the Step Team in action. Big Rob got all sweaty and quietly complained, “There are a lot of people here.” He asked if I would be upset if he left after Joy performed, but decided he needed to see the outcome of the game. I think he ended up having a pretty good time. The game was very exciting. Our team won by 3 points (YAY!).

January 23, 2009 Louisville KY STOMPIN’!!!

And of course, I took video. Joy is best noticed by her new bangs. The video isn’t super-great, since I was trying to avoid recording the people that kept walking in front of me, but it does the trick.

Joy’s report card came in yesterday and she got great marks. She has brought home numerous certificates and acknowledgements this year that reward her for various academic achievements. So tomorrow, Husband will take her out for lunch in honor of that - just the two of them. I’m very happy to see them getting on so well lately.

I hope to get this house cleaned up and to finish reading Eclipse and work on the cowl I’m knitting some more. I have a whole mess of shows on the DVR to catch up on, as well as about 7 movies that need watching, too. Should prove to be a good weekend. Enjoy yours!