I’m Beautiful Like Me.

This is the awesome yarn TheSockKnitter sent to me for my first pair of socks. I love the colors! Thank you sooooo much, girl. You are too sweet!The MeiMeis I ordered.
Fifteen 60″ circular knitting needles US size 0-15.
I’m going to make so much stuff with these!

The yarn I bought for P.
She wants a Circles to Square blanket like I made for mom’s birthday.
I may take it back for sock yarn, though!

Some shots from Sunergo’s last night. Joy took most of the pictures.

She models Ila’s hat. Looks great!Sonnie’s daughter and Joy were fast friends.
I can’t believe I’m knitting socks!
Thanks again, Sonnie, for showing me the ropes (yarn?!) in magik looping.
I am really enjoying it and really rather be doing that now

The Circles to Square blanket is finished!
Sorry it’s taken me so long to finish it, mom,
but I hope you love it as much as I do.

I’m working on a scarf from my first skein of wool yarn.
I’m really pleased with how it’s turning out.
I only wish I had been braver and gotten a brighter color,
as I find the gray to be a bit depressing.
It’s been a good pattern for a starting project.

For good measure, some pictures of Buddha,
“reading” from the book we borrowed from the library.

All that’s left to do is sew the squares together and crochet a border!

The afghan is coming along. I’ve completed all 16 of the smallest squares, all 5 middle-sized squares and 1.5 of the 3 largest squares. It’s turning out rather nice, but I’m still nervous. I can’t quite understand what about Granny Squares makes me nervous, but I worry that things come together the way they ought to. I worried this way during the making of the Li’l Monkey afghan and they turned out rather nice, thank you very much. Still, I’m nervous.

I’ve been neglecting my reading. I started Restaurant at the End of the Universe months ago and never finished it. Hell, I never got far. I’m too consumed with the numerous crocheting books, 200 Crochet Blocks and Stitch ‘n Bitch. I did pick up Storm Front, the first in the Dresden Files series, upon recommendation from P’s husband. I’ve read like 4 pages. Hopefully, I can carve out more time for reading soon.

I have listened to the entirety of Anne of Green Gables via Podcast provided by LibriVox. It was the first book I’ve ever listened to and I must admit that I was quite surprised at how much I enjoyed it. I’m currently looking into listening to the rest of the series.

Poor Husband. On Sunday night, he didn’t call on his lunch break. This is very unusual. After some time, I finally called him and got no answer. Eventually he called me and gave me the bad news: he had hurt himself at work. Luckily, it was just a strain and nothing too serious. When he went to his boss to tell him, his boss would not let Husband out of his sight. He put him in a cab and the cab took him to the hospital. They gave him some meds and an appointment at their doctor’s office the following morning. He came home very early.

The next morning he went to his appointment and they gave him more meds, told him to rest and he’d be okay to go back to work on Wednesday. He spent the better part of his days off in bed atop a heating pad, sleeping. I had to wake him this afternoon at 4:15pm to get ready for work. On his lunch, he called as usual and said he was going to come home, that his back was still hurting pretty badly. I can only imagine, as his job is very physically strenuous. On an unhappy note, the meds he’s taking make him rather cranky while he’s awake. Hopefully when he sees the company doctor again tomorrow, they will give him some good news or some better meds.

We woke up late.

T was in the shower. I just lectured her on Friday about half-hour showers every morning. It’s been weeks since I chewed her out for leaving hairballs in the shower drain. Slightly irritating way to start the day when you really wanted a bath before leaving.

So we waited for more hot water. It wasn’t terribly long, but I wish I had gotten my ass in gear earlier so we coulda hung out with P, her husband and their girls longer this afternoon.

We got there about 2pm. We alternated hanging out in the back yard and in the kitchen, sipping beer while we prepared homemade salsa and setting all the goodies out. P’s hubby grilled dogs, brats, burgers, steaks, chicken and ribs. We ate chips and salsa, potato salad, beans, the whole nine. P and I even managed to steal a few smokes away from the bunch so we could just chill and chat. It’s hot out there, but I had a great time kickin’ it with them.

Buddha was very sweet, but his usual curious self. He didn’t eat much. I think he must be teething again. I spotted another molar coming in on the top left. Last night was another test of my patience getting him to sleep. He gets to this icky point of being completely inconsolable. He doesn’t want to nurse, he doesn’t want to snuggle, he doesn’t want me to put him down, he doesn’t want me to hold him, he just screams and screams. This is the third time he’s gotten like this and it leaves me feeling completely helpless.

T is staying at P’s tonight to watch the girls so P and her man can hit up the movies. After we had been home awhile, I helped myself to the leftovers that P packed up for me to bring home and the boy helped me eat that. He nursed for a bit, too. Later, we shared an ice cream bar. It’s the funniest thing, watching him try to figure out how to lick the ice cream. We’re going to scrub down in the tub shortly to wash off the sunscreen, bug spray, food and dirt and hopefully go to sleep without incidence tonight.

It’s been a good bit since I’ve had an evening to myself at home. I’ve watched just about all of my DVR’d shows and Sunday night television isn’t my favorite. I think I have a few movies I still haven’t seen yet, though. I’m going to continue working on crocheting the Circles to Square blanket for my mom’s birthday. It’s still going pretty slowly, because it’s so hard to get any work done when Buddha is awake. He gets into my yarn, tries to steal my hook and climbs all over me, making it next to impossible to get very far.

Husband is likely going to have a late night tonight. At least we got to spend some time together this afternoon before work, though. It’s nice to see him hanging out with P’s husband, since he gets so very little time to socialize with others. And he’s off the next 2 days, so we’ll get plenty of time to hang out then. Better get it while I can - school in back in session for him today.

It’s the Fourth of July. Happy Independence Day to those of you celebrating the holiday today!

I’m ambivalent about the day. I love the food, but hate the fireworks.

Dinner was great. I bought a 5 quart Teflon skillet and made home fries for the first time in ages. We also had Sloppy Joes and greens. We sat together at the dinner table and stuffed ourselves. But the neighbors are stinking up the place with their incessant firecrackers and making me jumpy. I’m not a jumpy person, dammit. I hate twitching with every pop, boom, crack, bang, pow.

I want to go out. There’s so much going on in the city today! Weird Al is performing right down the street from me at the Iroquois Amphitheater. And it gets better - yes, better! George Clinton and the P-Funk All*Stars are playing the Louisville Waterfront, absolutely free! I really, really want to go. Alas, I have no way down there (insert sobbing smiley here, please). I tried to convince Husband to stay home tonight so we could attend, but he is being infuriatingly sensible. P is hanging out with her sister and their girls this evening. I even tried calling my mom to see if I might borrow her Jeep so I could go, but she doesn’t answer. Curses!

There’s beer in the fridge, though and it’s my new favorite - Blue Moon’s seasonal beer Honey Moon. I stayed up way too late again last night, sipping 3 of those delish brews and hanging out with Husband. I’m pretty exhausted from lack of sleep. Plus, I went shopping for a bit, cooked dinner and played a ton with the boy. I even chatted with Joy for a bit. She complained about boredom but then said she was going to Busch Gardens today. That kid, I tell ya, she expects to be entertained 24/7.

I bought some new clothes for myself while shopping today. I got a pretty good deal, too. I bought 5 summery shirts and a pair of shorts and spent a whopping $40. I still haven’t gotten around to trying them on yet, though, ’cause I’m so tired and started dinner as soon as we got back. It gets damn hot in that kitchen quick!

I’ve still got a ton of shows on the DVR and I wanna watch Vantage Point. And I’ve got tons of crocheting left to do. I’ve only made 6 of the 16 small squares and none of the other size squares! Mom’s birthday is only in a few days, so I suppose her gift will be late. It took me forever to decide on a color pattern and finally decided to use two color patterns. Here’s what I have so far:

Firstly, T and I got into it yesterday. Mostly because I can’t convince her to take school seriously. All I requested was that she hand over her cell phone for the few hours of the day that she should be focusing on school. She dug in her heels and refused, stating that she could do both. Well, the past several months proves otherwise. I hate the tension between us, but I can’t pretend that I’m okay with her just slacking on her schoolwork so’s she can play on MySpace and send text messages all frickin’ day. So, for now, she has no computer privileges and I’ve taken away her allowance. In our home, the allowance is contingent upon doing your “job” as a kid by going to school and doing homework (as opposed to being tied to chores). Natch, she’s pretty upset, but I think I am being more than reasonable.

And last night, Buddha would not go to sleep! He was up until almost 12:30am. Worse, he woke me at 8am this morning. UGH! I suppose it wouldn’t have been too bad, had I went to sleep when he did. But I was up until about 4am myself, starting on my new blanket, the Circles to Square Afghan. Here’s a the pattern image.I’m using the same yarn from the Seija Set (brown, pink and off-white) to make it, though, since I still have so much. I had fully intended on making at least one more Seija afghan, but I’m bored with it after making two already. I can’t decide on the color sequence. I made two squares and I’m going to make a third before deciding. It’s going to be a gift for my mom’s upcoming birthday (Mom, if you are reading, act surprised when I give it to you!). I’m going to hafta hustle - her birthday is in 11 days! In any case, point is that my sweet boy totally conked out in the middle of the living room - something he never does. It was cute enough to share:

Meanwhile, Joy is in Florida. Her being in Florida is not good for my mental health. I have thought so much about xSO because of it, which I loathe. I’m the type of girl who does not remain on friendly terms with ex-boyfriends. They are my ex for a reason! Now, this does not apply to boys I dated a few times (or to CJP - nevermind that we aren’t in touch anyhow - because, well, he’s just different), but rather to those with whom I was in a long-term relationship. Those never end well and for me personally, the break often had to do with me growing up and them, well, not.

Unfortunately, this is not the case with Joy’s dad, as much as I would prefer it to be. We have a child together and contact between us has been necessary. It’s especially true since he’s the type of boy who has never had to do much for himself since there was always someone there to do it for him. I’m referring to things like paying bills, remembering birthdays and other important dates, sending Christmas cards, attending functions at school and church, and so on. When we first moved to Kentucky, I called xSO right away with Joy’s new school calendar information. Of course, by the time December rolled around and it was time for them to visit, he had made absolutely no arrangements and lost the paper he had written the vacation dates on. What makes all of this so infuriating, such the burden that it is for me, is that I am still the glue that keeps them (Joy and xSO) together. And - worse - his actions still affect us.

My stomach has been in knots waiting for the 30th, when he finally goes to sentencing. He’s looking at 3 to 5 years, from my understanding of his charges. And that’s not counting the neighboring county, where he still hasn’t been dealt with at all. I’m hopeful that he serves some amount of time, because it seems to me that it is the only possible solution to stopping his downward spiral. I wish I were in a position to wish him well, ’cause ultimately that’s what I’d really like to see. It’d be better for our daughter and my family. But I have been let down too often to bet on it.

Some time back, xSO’s mother told Joy that xSO’s life fell apart when we left. While it is essentially true, I was totally pissed at the woman for stating such a thing to my daughter. She might has well have said “It’s all your and your mom’s fault that he’s screwing up.” Bullshit! He was always living risky. When we were together, he didn’t live as risky because I was always there to nag him about drinking too much, spending too much on his head and so on. After I left him, that wasn’t my problem anymore and he took it to the extreme. That shit affects us. It affects Joy, it affects me and it also affects Husband and Buddha. None of us should be made to deal with xSO’s selfishness and disregard for responsibility.

Joy said she visited with him in jail. She said they weren’t even in the same room - that she spoke to him over a telephone and that she saw his image on a computer-like monitor. I’m a bit relieved, to be honest. I was concerned that being in close proximity to him and not being allowed to hug him would be upsetting for her. I think the experience she had made it seem less real, more surreal. Like a phone conversation with an overseas friend.

Yeah, so I’m pissed that I’m spending so much energy thinking on and worrying over Joy being there. I’m going to spend some time today folding laundry that I’ve been ignoring for a week and crocheting while watching the 10+ hours I’ve got recorded on the DVR, so hopefully it will not consume me. P and I had considered attending Shakespeare in the Park tonight, but I didn’t get much sleep last night and she just wants to go home and laze in her PJs. So, we’ll try to go another night. I’ll update then with pictures, I’m sure.

Oh yes, and the great irony is that, for whatever reason, my linked images show up in black and white on Internet Explorer. So, if you are viewing the blog on IE, there likely is something wrong with the picture. Go figure.