I’m Beautiful Like Me.

On Saturday, we went to Iroquios Park for the Mountain and Hammered Dulcimer concert at the Amphitheater. It was nice, but much smaller than I had expected. T and the boy were bored and the whole lot of them were on my nerves, so we opted to walk over to the park instead. The boy needs more outdoor time these days, what with all his energy. He needs some place to put it that doesn’t involve climbing my furniture or destroying Husband’s computer parts.

But he loves exploring.

And checking out the water feature,
as long as he doesn’t get too wet.

He talks up a storm these days. His vocabulary includes several words that are very easy for anyone to understand: “hi,” “hello,” “daddy,” “mama,” “eat,” “please,” “thank you,” “up,” “down,” “uh-oh,” “no-no,” “eat,” “more,” “bye-bye,” “cup,” and a few others that currently elude me. He also says a number of words that only I seem to be able to understand. He has a distinct way of saying T’s name that everyone else thinks is “daddy.”

He loves bathtime and is generally intrigued with water, although he usually approaches it cautiously unless it’s bathwater. P took him with her to the pool last night and said he wanted nothing to do with the pool, but sat quietly with her poolside and watched others in the water intently for 45 minutes. Anyone who knows Buddha knows that he is typically far too high-strung for sitting long spells contently!

Getting him to sleep is a nightmare (pardon the pun). I am so unaccustomed to this, as Joy has always been a dream (sorry - couldn’t resist) when it comes to bedtime. Every night is a literal battle over getting him to rest. Even naptime has escalated into hellish torment. The boy will be so tired and cranky but still refuse to lay and rest. Husband and I have wondered if perhaps he is plagued by bad dreams or if he is just afraid of sleep. And now that he has figured out how to get up and down out of our bed, we have decided that it is time to get him sleeping in the crib. I am every bit as unhappy about this development as the boy is. He screams as though he is being tortured, despite the fact that we are right there, coddling and patting him, whispering unheard reassurances that all is well, hush now, it is time for bed. This leaves me stressed out and unable to sleep for several hours thereafter.

His appetite has been fluctuating like that of a toddler: one day he is fine with eating very little and the next day, he is a bottomless pit. He has several teeth coming in and it’s getting very uncomfortable to nurse. He has punctured the skin on my left nipple with those tiny teeth of his, despite the fact that he didn’t actually bite me. I suppose it is just friction that accompanies the suckling motion of his mouth. In any case, the past few days I have dreaded nursing, as this is his preferred side. Wouldn’t it follow that he has wanted to nurse more these past few days? He really loves bananas and he enjoyed helping me eat the Rainier cherries (see last post). He likes sausage and chicken and french fries (well, any sort of potato, really) and pasta and olives and fish. His dislikes seem to be more about texture than taste.

He loves watching Jack’s Big Music Show and Blue’s Clues. He loves music. He likes books. But he still prefers throwing things best. Unfortunately, he is usually throwing his heavy toys (like the flash light the in-laws sent to him for his first birthday) at people or our computers. He likes being outside or going for a ride in the car. He wanders around aimlessly like a butterfly when we go to the park. He likes drinking (only water!) from a cup.

Nursing this morning.
What’s daddy doing?!

A fellow blogger posted about her breastfeeding successes a few months ago and it inspired me to document my own failures and successes.

When I was pregnant with Joy, I read absolutely everything I could get my hands on about pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding. I talked extensively with my mom about her experiences, as well. Mom told me she had only nursed my eldest brother and not for long. Her husband was called in for military deployment and she said the stress of that dried her milk up overnight. Later in my pregnancy, I talked to my dad and he made a comment about remembering when my mom nursed me.

I argued with him: “Mom did not nurse me!”

“Yes, she did!” he responded.

So yesterday I joined a forum for local moms. I was pleased to find a place where I might find other moms like me in my area. And, I suppose I did. But I was so repulsed by a few peoples’ comments that I cannot bring myself to participate there anymore. At least not right now. The first comment was “breastfeeding is disgusting.” Another disagreed, but said she thinks it’s “weird” when a baby walks over to his mother and starts tugging at her shirt for a breast.

Not offensive to me at all. /sarcasm

I am fortunate that the people I associate with in real life do not have these sort of small-minded opinions or at least are smart enough to keep the opinions to themselves.

I try not to pass judgments on the way a mom feeds her baby. The fact is that I do wish every mother at least try to nurse her baby and further, I wish every mother would be successful in that endeavor.

Motherhood is such a demanding and often thankless job that it saddens me that we often make a competition of it amongst ourselves. Moms - both those who formula-feed and breastfeed - are often made to feel shame over the way they feed their babies. Formula-feeding moms are “second best” and “don’t love their babies as much” as their nursing mom counterparts. Nursing moms are “Jezebels who flaunt their breasts to the world” because - in this culture, at least - breasts are sexual. And that’s not even mentioning the mom who - *GASP!* - extended nurses her babies into toddlerhood! She must get some sort of sexual gratification out of it (insert eye-rolling smiley here, please).

Breastfeeding is natural (hard as it may be, at times). Scientific studies prove that breastfeeding is best. “Scientific studies” that state otherwise are almost assuredly funded by formula companies or the companies that own them. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the World Health Organization (WHO) both state that babies should nurse for at least the first year. WHO’s stance is the first two years.

Humans are mammals, so named for our mammaries. All mammals nurse their young. Cow’s milk is perfect for baby cows, human milk is perfect for human babies.

All that said, I’m quite grateful that we have a nutritious and safe alternative to breastfeeding these days so that all children have the opportunity to survive when nursing is not an option - regardless of why it isn’t an option.

Some moms truly do not make enough milk to sustain their babe (although it is rare). Most often, misinformation causes a new mom to not feed her baby enough. Schedules may work for the bottle-fed baby, but they do not work for the nursing baby. The supply/demand cycle gets screwed up and she eventually does reach the point of not making enough milk. It can often be resolved very early by nursing more and not supplementing with a bottle and following baby’s hunger cues.

Some moms work full-time outside of the home and pumping alone cannot sustain their babe. I have operated several high-dollar (even hospital-grade pumps) personally and know without a doubt that if I had to work outside of the home, I would not have been successful at nursing for long (mad props for pumping, working moms!!!). I don’t know of any scientific research out there on the subject, but my experience with other moms that do pump exclusively often suffer from supply problems.

Some moms struggle with getting it right in those emotional beginning weeks and have no support whatsoever. This was the case for me when Joy was a baby. We struggled for 3+ painful and stressful months before giving up. I got very little support from the community (and how could they support me when I didn’t know who to ask for help?) or moral support from Joy’s dad. I was alone in my suffering. And the guilt was enormous.

Plus, there are a range of health issues that can keep a baby from being able to nurse. I’d name some, but frankly I only personally know of two health reasons why a mom cannot nurse and what they are called eludes me (in my defense, they are rare and have weird names).

So, I try to not pass judgment of the way a mom feeds her baby. I wish more people would do the same.

Things are well.

Joy is grounded for school misbehavior last week. She was allowed to attend a birthday party at the bowling alley but it cost her an extra day’s restriction. She’s doing quite well academically in school, but struggles to get along with classmates. And she’s chatty. She complains loudly of boredom all weekend long and after school. I’ve been hoping that she would take this opportunity to read more. She has, but only a little bit. She’s usually a pretty good kid and I hate punishing her, but I have to be consistent or she will continue with the unsavory behaviors.

The boy is amazing. He’s got three teeth on bottom with two coming in and one tooth on top and the second is coming in. He walks more each day. He’s figured out how to stand without using anything to pull up. He says “mom,” “mama” and “dada” and babbles a lot all day. He squeals - quite loudly, too. He mimics me when I belch or growl. He claps along with his movie during the song “Bingo.” He eats all day, everyday. Today he ate cheese, olive and mushroom pizza that I cut into tiny bite-sized pieces. Then he harrassed me and squawked while I ate ice cream. He gets so filthy from food that we are now bathing him everyday instead of the 3-4 times per week.
Husband is home from work tonight. He’s been working a lot of overtime and it seems I rarely see him during the long weeks. I had kinda hoped he would take the night off last night since we met on Superbowl Sunday two years ago (not until after that game, though) and I’m a bit sentimental about that time, but he didn’t want to hang out with football-crazed tata.

Man, was I ever pleased with the outcome of that game! To be perfectly honest, I’m not necessarily a fan of teams, but more a fan (or un-fan) of players. I’ve followed the Giants a bit because of Tiki Barber and Jeremy Shockey (who were both on my fantasy team last year - didn’t play this year). I do love the Bucs, but it’s been hard to follow them since I moved back to KY. All the games aired on regular TV when I lived in FL. Here, the team most frequently aired on TV is the Colts, whom I initially liked because of Tony Dungy (former Bucs coach), but also now like because I adore Peyton Manning. It’s not hard to decide to root for his brother, as well. And since I’m on an honesty kick here, I absolutely despise Tom Brady for no good reason. No one should have life as good as him. So, the outcome of that game was merry for two reasons: Peyton’s brother won (Tiki’s retired and Jeremy didn’t play) and Tom Brady lost. Plus, he got knocked around quite a lot, too!

My Hashimoto’s seems to be under control. I should be going back for more bloodwork soon, but I would rather wait until we’ve paid the outstanding bills for bloodwork already done. The first round of bloodwork diagnosed that the TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) was abnormal. The second round of bloodwork determined I have Hashimoto’s thyroiditis (an autoimmune deficiency wherein my immune system attacks my thyroid) and the third round of bloodwork determined that my 50MCG dose of Synthroid seems to be effective, since my TSH came way down from the first round of bloodwork. Doc wants additional bloodwork drawn up to see if the TSH has come down more after another month of Synthroid. I’m going to make it two months so we can catch up on the bills. Plus, the Synthroid is really interfering with my ability to fall asleep and Doc is reluctant to give me any prescription sleep aids since I’m still nursing. I’ve been hunting for an inexpensive used copy of Medications and Mother’s Milk to take in when I go see her next so I can try to convince her that it’s safe for her to give me a sleep aid! For now, I’m taking Tylenol PM but it takes so long to kick in.

Otherwise, life is beautiful. Marriage is wonderful. I have such an awesome relationship with Husband. My kids are happy and healthy and there is much to celebrate and feel blessed for.