I’m Beautiful Like Me.

My last few posts, I’ve ranted about the things that really suck in my life, so I’m going to spend a minute to discuss the things that are great.

We received a substantial amount for our tax returns, so we were able to (once again) pay off all of our bills and even put quite a bit in savings. It was really nice to give my mom a huge chunk, too, considering all that she has done for us in the past (six months, especially). We still had quite a bit left, so we all got new shoes, Joy got some new school clothes, Buddha got some new toys and Husband and I got ourselves a little something each, too. He got some "nerdy computer stuff" (as Joy calls it) and I got myself the Knit Picks Harmony interchangeable needle set I’ve been ogling for forever now. They are beautiful and simply divine to knit with!

I’ve been working on perfecting my Skulljoy Armwarmers pattern with them, made a cozy for my French Press and have a sock for Husband on my needles right now. I’ve never knit socks with worsted weight yarn, so these seem to be breezing by quite quickly! I’m going to make them with afterthought heels (also called short-row heels), so I have to wait for the book I ordered (Teach Yourself Visually: Sock Knitting) to arrive before I can proceed. I’ll have both cuffs done before it gets here.

My good friend P dragged me to see the movie "Twilight" before I started the final book Breaking Dawn. I haven’t seen a movie in the theater since the first Harry Potter movie! It wasn’t horrible and I’m not sorry I went by any means, I just wish my own image of Edward hadn’t been tainted. Sorry P. I did finally finish the saga, though and hafta say that I really rather enjoyed it. Thanks to all those folks online for turning me on to some new reading material. As soon as I catch up on the DVR (which will give me a chance to do some serious knitting), I’m going to start something new - maybe Wicked or Dean Koontz’s The Darkest Evening of the Year. It is so good to be reading again.

I quit my job at the downtown restaurant last week. It was the most reckless thing I’ve done in a long time and it was very liberating to just not go in. Those people (the ones who own it, that is) are complete jerks and I’m glad to be rid of the feelings I’d have just before going in. In the meantime, I’ve applied with the county school system for several jobs, did the clerical testing, paid for the background check and fingerprinting. Now they just need to hire me!

I also applied for financial aid and at University of Louisville. If only I could decide what the hell I want to do when I grow up! I’m leaning towards either a Mathematics degree of maybe Justice. I need to make an appointment to talk to an advisor, I think. My education is at a stage where I really need to know which direction I want to head in.

And it’s really super-cheesy and maybe a bit morbid, but I’m excited that the latest episode of one of my favorite shows "The First 48" is airing a local homicide. My love for cop and law shows is what has me considering a law-type degree.

Finally, the basketball team at Joy’s school has made the finals! It’s very exciting for these little guys and I’m really proud of them. Here’s the latest video from their game last night.

I called in to work last Friday. I didn’t necessarily have a good reason, but I didn’t need one. The boss told me to take Monday off, too, since it was a holiday and we’d be slow: banks were closed and our restaurant’s guests are primarily bankers. I went in on Tuesday, but heard from the others that it was even slower than on Monday and ultimately, I was relieved early.

My brother, Big Rob, had taken the day off from his job and came in to lunch at my restaurant just as I was headed out. My parking meter was already paid up for another hour and a half, so we decided to have lunch together somewhere else. We passed a sushi restaurant just browsing the streets of downtown Lou-Evil and he really wanted to eat there. I don’t particularly like seafood and am really very unadventurous when it comes to exotic food anyway, but I told him I would keep him company. I did try his Ginger salad and liked it, so I ordered my own. I even ate it with chopsticks!

We talked about the new business our mom is in negotiations to buy that Big Rob will operate. I offered to help and we discussed that at great length. It was nice having lunch with my brother. We have a long and complicated history that is marred by long separations of both distance and spirit. It’s good to have him back in my life and I hope he knows that I don’t take it for granted.

That evening, Husband and I spoke a long time about my crazy. For the short period of time that I was at work on Tuesday, I felt the prickly butterflies of an impending panic attack that left as soon as I walked out of the restaurant. I had talked with Big Rob about it, too. Of course, he thought the relief came with his arrival (and perhaps it did - he has a commanding presence that attracts attention, therefore distracting me from my introspection). In any case, I suspect the general feeling of oppressiveness is originating from the people for whom I work. I want so badly to like this job but I just cannot talk myself into it. I’m very unhappy there. I work a measly 3 - 3.5 hours only to feel completely mentally and spiritually exhausted for the remainder of the day. I dread going in. I need something else and very soon.

Blissfully, the boss called me Wednesday morning and told me to take the day off since we’ve been “so damn slow.” Husband and I took care of a few errands and took the baby to lunch. While at lunch, he got called for a job, which he handled later in the afternoon while Buddha and I went shopping. Big Rob stopped over and I typed up some papers for him.

I didn’t get a call on Thursday morning, so I begrudgingly went in. We were so painfully slow, the day dragged. After work, I rushed over to an appointment - I got a call back for the job interview I had last week. I’m still nervous about getting my hopes up, but I did hear that not everyone got a call back. I also heard that it’d be about a week before I’d know if I make the final call back: a one-on-one interview with the doctor. My heart sank at that one: I’d hafta go back to the restaurant for at least another week.

Sigh.

I woke up in good spirits today, though and held a good mood for most of the work day, despite the incessant telling-me-things-I-already-know from the boss. I noticed for the first time that the kitchen manager shows preference to one of the waitresses and will sell her food before everyone else’s. I had one table that waited over half an hour for 2 fish sandwiches and a cheeseburger. These people are on their lunch breaks and don’t have time to fuck around this long for a bite to eat. One of the ladies asked to speak to the boss. When I went to fetch him, he screamed at me for “talking to my tables too much,” and proceeded to get into a pissing match with the woman, who stomped out angrily. Seriously. That fouled my mood a bit.

After work, I kidnapped Joy from the last hour of school to take her to get that haircut she’s been buggin’ about for the past two weeks. The lady in the office informed me that she’d had 8 - EIGHT!!! - tardies this school year! Joy pouted and wanted to know why I was picking her up early since she’d be missing the classroom ice cream party. I scowled at her and said nothing. We got into the car and I told her we were going to get her hair cut and she immediately perked up. She asked me not to be mad at her about being late. I agreed to drop it as long as she promised it would never happen again and she’d do dishes all weekend without complaint. She agreed and we had quite a good time. I don’t particularly care for the long side-swept bangs she got, but she likes it and - as I told her - that’s all that matters. We had dinner together at McDonald’s and stopped to get the boys something on our way home. She ran out as soon as we got home to show off her new ‘do.

A bit later, Big Rob came over and accompanied Joy and I to her school’s basketball game to see the Step Team in action. Big Rob got all sweaty and quietly complained, “There are a lot of people here.” He asked if I would be upset if he left after Joy performed, but decided he needed to see the outcome of the game. I think he ended up having a pretty good time. The game was very exciting. Our team won by 3 points (YAY!).

January 23, 2009 Louisville KY STOMPIN’!!!

And of course, I took video. Joy is best noticed by her new bangs. The video isn’t super-great, since I was trying to avoid recording the people that kept walking in front of me, but it does the trick.

Joy’s report card came in yesterday and she got great marks. She has brought home numerous certificates and acknowledgements this year that reward her for various academic achievements. So tomorrow, Husband will take her out for lunch in honor of that - just the two of them. I’m very happy to see them getting on so well lately.

I hope to get this house cleaned up and to finish reading Eclipse and work on the cowl I’m knitting some more. I have a whole mess of shows on the DVR to catch up on, as well as about 7 movies that need watching, too. Should prove to be a good weekend. Enjoy yours!

I’ve been missing from the blog!

Truth is, life has been pretty hectic and mostly depressing. I haven’t felt compelled to write much, what with all the money worry that is going on with us right now. I haven’t checked the Google Reader in over a week, haven’t been very active on Entrecard or even Plurk. I’ve focused my online time to trying to earn some flow and my offline time to the same thing. I apologize for not posting anything interesting in a while. I’ll be back around again as soon as I can.

Namaste.

I fell asleep with Buddha early on Monday night, ’round 8pm. At 2:30am, we awoke to some commotion. My bed has a clear view to the bathroom down the hall when our bedroom door is open - and it was - and I see Husband standing there with Joy, lights ablaze about the entire apartment. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes to see what the hell is going on.

Joy has been sick. The out-from-every-orifice kinda sick, no less. Husband was cleaning up after her (she would have made it if not for the dag-blasted baby gate) and she was fresh from a shower. Well, as fresh as one can be after this kinda sick in a bathroom rife with said sickness.

Well, I have already slept for a good 7 hours or more, so sleep is done. The girl is up and down all night, running for the bathroom. Husband didn’t go to bed until 6am. I don’t even remember why not, just that it aggravated the hell outta me later that day.

Now it’s Tuesday. But not just any Tuesday - no, it’s the Tuesday we’ve been looking forward to for about 3 weeks, when Buddha first got his cast. His appointment is at 12:45pm for x-rays and, God willing, cast removal. That begs the question, what do you do with the girl? One can’t very well take a sick girl to the office of an orthopedic doctor. I did the next best thing. I made her a Nyquil smoothie and called my mom. Turns out that mom is sitting at the Immediate Care Center herself: she fell and suspected (rightly so, we later learned) a broken thumb. Okay, so I really didn’t make the girl a NyQuil smoothie, but my mom did come over to hang out with her while Husband and I took the boy in for doom and gloom x-rays and cast removal.

Unlike the last time, we were only at the doctor’s office maybe an hour. If we had thought the reaction boy had to the x-rays was similar to torture, well he truly must have been dying for real when the nurse removed his cast. I felt sorry for him during the x-ray and coddled him, but the way he howled when the nurse was trying to fit him for a boot after his cast was off had me referring to him as mama’s drama queen son. They weren’t able to get that damn boot on him the right way, ’cause he was so full of drama and wouldn’t stop squirming and trying to kick the nurse with the recently-declared no-longer-broken leg. But he still walked with the thing on.

The entire way home he picked at the velcro on the boot and told us “Off!” The doc said that he didn’t need it, but that some people - kids or otherwise - do well to have some transition support. We took the boot off of him when we got home and he has scampered about without it ever since. At first we tried to coerce it back on for at least a few hours a day, but he adamantly refuses. Frankly, it’s not a battle I want to fight. He’s still walking around with a stiff ankle turned outward as though the cast is still there, but he’s enjoying bending his knees again.

And despite being super-flarpin’ tired from the long day (that started at 2:30am) of puking girl and screaming boy, I stayed up too late, without going to knit night. Boo hiss!

Wednesday came and went without much of a hitch. Joy stayed home from school again since she needed a little more time to feel normal and correct her sleep schedule. I worked. (Did I mention that I hate the job? It’s not even so much the actual work I do so much as the people with whom I work and the fact that, due to said people, I don’t make enough to actually support anything.) We went to Big Rob’s girlfriend’s house for dinner. She recently moved and they wanted us to check out the new place. Moreover, Big Rob decided that he wanted our mom to meet his girlfriend. We had a pretty good time and her new place is really nice, but Joy was whiny and Buddha was into everything at her not-childproof apartment. It could’ve been more fun.

Again, I stayed up too late. Tsk, tsk, tata!

This time, it was the boy. He wakes up in the middle of the night to nurse still, so it wasn’t unusual when he woke up this time. But, he didn’t wake up to nurse; rather he woke up to puke, first in his own bed, then in ours. I was so frustrated that I left the room and came to the couch, yelling at Husband all the while. Why would he think I’d want to lie in vomit while I sleep?! Not much later, he emerged from the bedroom with the boy and the two of them stole the couch from me. I dozed for a bit in the office chair (big mistake - my back has been killing me ever since) while we laundered the linen from both our bed and the boy’s and every farkin’ towel in the house. The poor kid must’ve thrown up every half hour all morning long. I wasn’t able to find anyone to cover my shift at work, so I went in despite having only slept all of maybe two hours.

Work was awful. The other servers that have been there the longest have this attitude like they don’t have to do any of the required sidework to keep the restaurant running smoothly through the rush. This one in particular made a snotty comment about how she isn’t going to run silverware through the wash ’cause “it’ll fuck up my nails.” I was so frustrated that I came within inches of quitting. I made a whooping $18 over in the corner-hole section where no patron in their right mind would want to dine. Guess who decided that section should be mine?! You guessed it - the same one that made the aforementioned comment.

I called Husband as I was leaving work to vent. He said the boy was still puking every half hour. He’d given him a light lunch of dry toast and water and everything came back up. When I got home, Buddha was asleep, but as soon as he woke up, he begged to nurse, begged for his cup, and begged for food. I nursed him for about 20 minutes and we waited at the ready with a towel. Nothing. I gave him small sips of water one straw-full at a time. We waited at the ready with a towel and still nothing. I had even offered to let him drink straight from the cup with the straw, but when I wouldn’t let him hold the cup, he had a meltdown of colossal proportions that drove my sleep-deprived mind to the brink. I finished the laundry and went to bed, closing the door behind me. I don’t even know what time it was. I can say that Joy wasn’t home from school yet (she gets here about 4:15pm). I slept until about 4:30am.

While dozing in the office chair yesterday morning, I was trying to publish a sponsored post but my server was down. That led to more frustration for the day yesterday, too. I tried to resolve the issue a number of ways before throwing the towel in. In any case, I wanted to point out that I knew about it, tried to fix it, and that now all seems to be working in order again. I lost the opportunity to actually earn from that sponsored post, so I took it back down. Oh, well.

Could be worse.

I started work on Friday. The ink and piercings are not as big a deal as I was led to believe at the interview/hiring. It’s looking like I will only be working part-time during lunch rushes. I’m really quite pleased, as it leaves knit night open and me available to continue pursuing ways to make money online. And, in the event that I’m ever considered for some of those 20-odd apps I submitted last week, I’ll be available to interview and possibly find better income.

Right now, this seems to be a good fit. I’ve completed my training and will be making tips when I return to work on Wednesday. I like all 4 of the managers and there are a number of colleagues that are really cool, too.

After my first shift on Friday, Husband and I took the kids to the mall so’s I could get a new nose ring. I lost the CZ in my last one some time ago and we’ve been so tight I haven’t had the bread to replace it. I got a great deal on 6 of them and also got a new barbell for my tongue and awesome tribal spirals for ear-stretching. The kids were surprisingly well-behaved. Then we got a bite to eat at Steak & Shake, where I ran into an old friend.

Saturday night after work, P and her girls came over and watched Joy and Buddha while Husband and I went out to a show. I was indecisive as to which show I wanted to attend, but we ended up going to the Brewery Thunderdome (my first time since it reopened!) to see Caldera and Snake Eyed Savior. I had a couple of shots of Woodford’s Reserve before going and got pretty farkin’ wasted on Blue Moon while there. I didn’t even get to see either of those bands play, but I had a great time and saw so many familiar faces.

I worked a double yesterday, mostly just to get the training out of the way. My afternoon trainer is this really cool chic with a vibe I dig. She let me lead the way. Our second table turned out to be more old friends of mine that I haven’t seen in I-don’t-know-how-many years. Back in the day when we kicked it together, these two were just getting together. Turns out they had just returned from their honeymoon! How cool is that!

Needless to say, I’ve taken numbers, email addresses, MySpace URLs and whatnot. Getting older, having a family and (groan) responsibilities really gets in the way of keeping up with friends who are also busy getting older, having families and responsibilities. I’m hopeful to stay connected.

The past few days have been really, really good for my emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. I’m glad to have a change of both scenery and pace. It feels long overdue.