I’m Beautiful Like Me.

Christmas went just the way I’d always dreamed. I’ll summarize the past week briefly and let the pictures following speak for themselves.

On Christmas eve, my dear Aunt Ruby decided to visit. Blech! I called into work and was told I may lose my job because of it, so I spent the better part of the day worrying about that. Buddha had a mild fever for most of the day, as well.

I had conspired with my mom and brother to get the Christmas decorations - originally I hadn’t intended on doing any decorating or gift exchanging, but after the wonderful kindness of my friends the knitters, things changed. I got the box of decorations from my mom on Tuesday when I helped her out at the shop. I managed to get them into the house and hidden without either of the kids being any the wiser. When we returned from some errands on Wednesday with both children, our neighbor intercepted us in the hall to give me a box that had been delivered while we were away. Joy spotted it, but we swiftly carried it to our bedroom and later I managed to convince her that it was the decorations in said box.

My brother, Big Rob had nothing much to do with his evening since his girls were both spending the day with their moms, and since we had planned to go to The Healing Place on Christmas Day, I invited him to spend the night at our place. We made pizza and beer for dinner and then packed into the car to drive around looking at Christmas lights (Buddha’s favorite). When we got home, I surprised the kids with Christmas decorations and our puny-but-lovely Peanuts-style Christmas tree. Joy helped decorate it while Husband prepared sugar cookie dough. As she patiently waited for the dough to chill, she and Big Rob whipped up a double batch of Rice Krispy Treats. Then they cut out sugar cookies and decorated them.

After the girl finally made it to bed, we snuck the gifts out of the bedroom and placed them on Buddha’s table and chairs. We prepped our morning coffee and headed to bed.

In the morning, Joy was a bit confused about the gifts. “Whose are these?” she asked me. Buddha walked right past them! He discovered the (American) football first. That was followed by lots of unwrapping gifts. The boy was confused, I think. Usually, we yell at him for tearing things up but here we all are, encouraging him! They were both pleased with their new goods.

Joy’s family sent her some gifts and my in-laws sent some nice stuff to all of us.

After coffee and breakfast, we went out to the Healing Place for several hours to help out in the kitchen and in whatever way we might be needed. However, there were more helping hands than hands in need, so we didn’t stay as long as we’d planned. We were met with great welcome. Everyone was so kind and gracious. It was quite a lovely experience.

The whole work-worries thing was for naught - they had over-staffed and were dead. I actually did them a favor and saved them a few bucks by not coming in. But Friday and Saturday were insane - I made so much money! But by golly, I worked my ass off for it.

Some nice cards made it in the mail after Christmas, including some money and gift cards for Joy.

Tonight, we went to my mom’s for Christmas dinner. Big Rob brought both his girls and the four of us went. We ate so much turkey, ham, potatoes and stuffing with gravy, asparagus, corn, sweet potatoes and rolls. Afterwards, we exchanged gifts. Mom laughed so hard at the washcloths I made her and swore off ever using them. Both my nieces loved their gifts from us. Mom got Joy Guitar Hero for her DS - she was so excited! She gave my younger niece the board game Cranium and we had so much fun playing it. For us, she gave us gift cards to the Olive Garden which totally rocks ’cause it’s our absolute favorite restaurant.

Overall, it was an amazing week!

Christmas Eve

Christmas

Late Christmas Night… the boy’s been teething and not sleeping well. So we all curled up on the couch and cuddled together. Note the sheep (from Gramma and Grampa) - the kids love ‘em. Husband thinks it’s amusing that his folks gave his son the black sheep.

Christmas Dinner @ Mom’s, playing Cranium

The Spirit of Christmas is upon me. Mostly, it’s credit to the group of wonderful women I knit with on Tuesdays. Some other nice financial things have happened as well.

One of the ladies I knit with asked that I call her about 10 days ago and asked if she could help us out with groceries through her church. I thanked her but told her I’d prefer they help someone else who really needs it. She conspired with another of the ladies I knit with and mailed us a $50 gift card for the local grocer. The truth is, I really don’t need grocery money - the government has helped us with that the past several months. However, I can buy diapers and toilet paper with this gift card, so it is incredibly helpful.

When we moved in here, we had to pay a huge deposit to turn on our electricity. It was returned to us via our credited bill. That was incredibly helpful! Work has been slightly busier and I’ve gotten better sections and tips lately, too. Further, Husband has made a little money with his slowly-building business and I’ve helped my mom out some, too and will be helping her out again this week.

I’m still pinching every penny. Every little bit helps.

That said, I did brave shopping yesterday. We needed some buns to go with dinner and while out, I made some very small purchases for the kids. I bought the boy a small, squishy football and got the girl a shirt and some Pokémon cards.

As I’ve mentioned before, we’ve been spending some time volunteering at The Healing Place. We didn’t make it out there yesterday, though. Frankly, I’m exhausted! I’ve been working more and this week is going to be a long one: I work Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday at my job, helping mom out on Tuesday and maybe even Wednesday morning before my job, and spending the better part of the day at The Healing Place on Christmas Day. We are going out to mom’s on Sunday (the 28th) to do our family Christmas, complete with my brother and his two girls. Big Rob has been helping mom out on her farm a lot of Sundays and I conspired with him yesterday to get my Christmas box out after all. I will hook up with him at some point and surprise the kids with the decorations on Christmas eve.

The big surprise for them, especially Joy, is that when they get up on Christmas morning and find presents under it! I really hadn’t anticipated being able to have gifts, so this is just as fun for me, being able to surprise the both of them. I am really looking forward to it.

Lastly, if you remember the nasty girl from work I mentioned in this most depressing post, I have an interesting story about that. She coordinated a Secret Santa swap for work and asked me to participate. I declined for a number of reasons: I don’t know most of the people I work with well, I’m broke, I had a previous engagement for the Secret Santa swap with my fellow knitters. When I told her this, she told me she had a hand-knitted scarf that someone had made for her but lost it in a house fire last year just after Christmas.

So, I made her a scarf. I used some acrylic (read: cheap) red yarn and a free cable pattern, but I put love in each stitch. My family endured a house fire on December 23, 1989 wherein nearly everything I personally owned at the tender age of 12 burned up. I know what it’s like to lose sentimental items. I’m happy to report that she loves it. I gave it to her today and it was very well received.

Happy Holidays to you and yours!

On Tuesday night, I was very nervous about heading to our new meeting grounds, Perkfection, for knit-night. The bunch had been going for several weeks in a row now, since Sunergos has been entirely too crowded for us to knit comfortably. I had been there before. However, the weather was icky, very cold and very wet. Furthermore, Perkfection is across the bridge in Indiana. Bridges are especially icky in very cold, very wet weather.

But it was a night we’d been planning for weeks now. We’d drawn names for a Secret Santa swap and Tuesday was the night we’d planned to do the exchanging. I bit down and drove myself there, very, very cautiously. I stopped in to visit with Anne at Grinny Possum beforehand to wish her a happy holiday and to discuss my recent knitting tragedies. Just as every other knitter I’d ever met so far, she listened with patience and an abundance of empathy, sympathy and the occasional strategically placed curse word directed at the yarn, the fates and anything that required cursing on my behalf. Anne, if you are reading, I love you!

I made it to Perkfection early, grabbed a seat and chatted up the cashier. We’d become acquainted the week before and I rather liked her right away. Still in Secret Santa mode, I purchased a caramel latte for my spoilee and impatiently waited for everyone else to arrive. The turnout was amazing! We even had a new knitter join us - a man I met several weeks earlier while helping out at Grinny Possum. It seemed like forever before everyone was there and the exchanging of gifts commenced. I did more talking and socializing than knitting, too! We each watched as everyone opened their gift, allotted for plenty of ooohing and aaahhhhing. It was the most fun discovering who had whom.

I got the most beautiful package, complete with a perfectly-tied red bow. I carefully peeled away the wrapping paper and found a nifty Christmas box inside. I love stuff to put stuff in! I removed the lid to find amazingly beautiful purple and pink self-striping sock yarn - YAY! As much as I love the yarn, I love the red bow. I tied it in my hair for the remainder of the evening.

After everyone had opened their gifts, I wanted to accompany J outside for a cigarette. I was convinced that there was a good reason to wait, totally persuaded by superior diversionary tactics. With complete complacency, I sat there and continued to gab away, oblivious to what was to unfold next.

Nellis and Samagchestlah came in from outside (I hadn’t even noticed them leave!), arms full of gifts for my family and I. I was absolutely blind-sided by them, rendered speechless by this surprise and nearly moved to tears. Elevena had donated books and toys from her own childhood, including a vintage Little People castle and all the pieces. Sonnie, Nellis and Samagchestlah had shopped for clothes and toys for the kids. Someone had donated a brand new makeup bag filled with facial scrubs and makeup from Clinique. It was a monumental moment in my life - one I will always, always remember.

And as if that weren’t enough (oh, but it was! These ladies really outdid themselves!), they next handed me a Christmas card with $100 inside.

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Reliving the moment as I write this, again I feel quite speechless.

Maybe they know, maybe they don’t, but that $100 will help make next month’s rent.

I cannot emphasize enough how grateful I am that each and every one of these women have come into my life. I feel incredibly blessed to know them. I feel incredibly blessed by their patience and generosity. I feel that words are insufficient to truly convey my innermost feelings. They encourage me when I am down, praise me for work well done, kid with me, laugh with me, cry with me, embrace me, give so much to me, share words of wisdom, extend a hand to me, relieve me from the real world for 2.5 hours every week and are my friends.

To the group formerly known as Quills Knitters, I love you. Merry Christmas to you and yours. Thank you so much for the Merry Christmas to me and mine.

Thank you so much!

P.S. I promise that I will post pictures as soon as humanly possible. Husband and I had to use every trick up our sleeve to camouflage all the great stuff you gave us in with the decor in our tiny apartment. Stay tuned!

My apologies for the delayed absence. As you no doubt have read, things have been rough ’round here lately. It has made it hard for me to find inspiration to write. But things are getting better. Not necessarily financially, mind you. Work is still extremely slow and I am still having issues with colleagues and getting a decent section at work.

However, last Friday I was given a pretty good one and made the most I’ve ever made in a single shift at work. Further, our deposit on our electric bill was returned to us and it covered this months bill. Husband and I have both been actively looking for jobs and I did receive an offer for a waitressing job at another restaurant. I have mixed feelings taking the job when they are only open 2 days during Christmas week and 3 days the following week, particularly considering we are so broke. Husband applied for a job that sounds pretty promising. We should hear back by tomorrow. *Fingers crossed*

Things have been good in other areas of our lives, though. Throughout the month of December and in lieu of a more traditional American Christmas, members of my immediate and extended family are volunteering in our community at The Healing Place women’s campus. The Healing Place is a “Home Sweet Homeless Shelter” and recovery center for addicts and also serves as shelter for victims of domestic violence. It is immensely rewarding. It is also incredibly humbling and therapeutic for me.

Joy has joined the school’s Step Team. She’s been practicing and doing quite well and - most importantly - really enjoys herself. However, she has been really whiney and argumentative lately.

As for the boy, we went to the doctor for shots last week and he is almost 30lbs! He learns new words everyday, crazy fast. He is getting tall, too, measured by all the new stuff he can reach, thereby keeping us on our toes non-stop!

My kids are pretty great. Buddha adores his sissy and Joy has her moments when she will play with him for long periods of time (like last night when I took this picture of the two of them “fighting” over the spot on the rocking chair).

After a rough number of days with knitting, I’ve rediscovered it’s joy. I’ve started some projects and completed a hat (although - admittedly - I’m not terribly fond of how it turned out. The top is too nipply for my tastes! I will very likely rip that part back out and try to repair it).

I can’t imagine ever running out of things I want to make. When I told a fellow knitter that several weeks ago, she replied “That’s the best argument for reincarnation I’ve ever heard.” I am now working on a cable scarf. I’m using some acrylic yarn from my early stash and finding that it really is lower quality. Besides being a pretty boring pattern (that makes a beautiful fat cable), I really hate the way the yarn squeaks between the needles.

It’s official: I’m a yarn snob.

As I mentioned in my last post, Buddha’s vocabulary is really growing. He’s also really good at identifying body parts, the most recent he’s learned being his eyebrows. The video is hilarious; he cracks us up wiggling them up and down.

Watch those eyebrows! Buddha, Daddy and Ginger 11/28/2008

He’s a thrill to watch these days. He’s trying to count and can say “one,” “two,” and “three” but he tends to get fixated on one of those while counting. Lately, it’s three. He doesn’t seem to favor any color, but he will group things by color (particularly those gears from Gramma and Grampa). He adores his sister and will mimic her every move - sometimes not so great! He’s going to sleep more swiftly these days, even requesting “night-night” as early as 6:30pm! He only nurses for about 45 minutes a day now, typically divided into 3 sessions (morning, night and occasionally at nap time). When he’s finished nursing before bed, he reaches for the crib and says “night-night.” He likes his hand to be held as he’s falling asleep, though. And yes, we indulge him. After all, it’s sweet and before long, we’ll embarrass him. He likes to brush his teeth (and everything else with the toothbrush). He drives us crazy by pouring out the water from his cup (which is a big boy cup) onto the floor or couch or table and slurp the water up, yes, even from the rug. He loves the telephone and pushing the buttons, although he tends to play shy when there is actually someone on it trying to talk to him. He loves going out. He is very insistent at times about it, too. He’ll demand his sweater, socks and shoes and then start repeating “bye-bye!” in a very stern voice. He’s obsessed with the light switches in the house. If we’d let him, he’d dismantle everything in the entire house and then throw it. My little quarterback-in-training!

So here’s a list we’ve compiled of words he knows. It is most certainly an incomplete list.

People
Mama
Daddy
Joy
Honey!
Hi Buddy! (it’s what he calls my brother, Big Rob)
Oma

Food
cup (sounds like “guck”)
milk (sounds like “mup”)
water (sounds like “wah-wah”)
eat
bites
fries
more
hot
bowl (sounds like “bow”)
fork (there is no way I could figure out how to write what this sounds like!)

Greetings/Manners
hello
hi
hey
bye
night-night
please
thank you
excuse me (sounds like “mech may”)
bless you

Body Parts
eyes
ears
nose
teeth (sounds like “teese”)
arms
elbow (sounds like “belbow”)
knee
piggies
toes
shoe (sounds like “hues”)
sock (sounds like “ock”)

Miscellaneous
up
down (sounds like “dow”)
on
off
sit
light
ball
book (sounds like “bup”)
baby
kitty
fish
glasses
clothes (sounds like “coze”)
home
bath
want
mine
rock (sounds like “ock”)
blocks (sounds like “bops”)
NO!

Phrases
What?
Boo!
You!
Alright!
C’mon
Again!
Whoa!
Ow!
Ew!
I got you!
I got it!
Ah, man!
Where’d it go?
There it is!
All done!
All gone!

Some new videos of Buddha for your viewing pleasure!

Things have been very, very emotional around here. The past few weeks, I have been scrounging for cash to pay our bills. Husband has gotten his business license and we’ve done some low-budget advertising with not much luck. I’ve been working on some online projects to make some money, including starting a new blog,. The Natal Astrology blog feels promising - it’s a niche that isn’t terribly crowded, I love the subject matter and won’t be running out of material to blog about in the foreseeable future. In the last 11 days of October, I made $9.75 - not a gob of cash, but at this point, every little bit counts!

I spent a lot of hard labor hours working on my mom’s shop, too, with Husband’s help. We got rid of a lot of garbage and donated a lot of practical (but useless to mom) stuff to the Goodwill. I’m very grateful that she helped us out - we wouldn’t have made the rent this month without this job.

Ginger, my beloved Hemingway cat, started urinating in weird places. Then we noticed blood in his urine. I did some online research and discovered that an older male cat with a UTI could die of renal failure if not treated. I cried a lot. Do I dip into my already scarce rent funds to help my cat?

Damn right I do.

I ended up calling into work last Thursday to take him to the vet. I opted for the antibiotics only, the cheapest route. If they don’t work, we’ll hafta go back for x-rays to see if he has bladder stones. So far, he is passing urine still and while it isn’t much, it’s no longer bloody. My fingers are crossed.

I managed to get Joy in to her doctor on Thursday, as well. Her ’script was running low and I was worried that she’d be off her meds for a long time, as it is often difficult to get in with her doctor right away.

Not sure exactly how we managed, but rent was paid, the cat and kid were dealt with, and all is okay. Not great, but okay.

My dad called on Thursday, but we didn’t talk until Friday. He told me that my gramma is having surgery on Monday to have a lung removed. Given her age and overall health, he said she has about a 20% chance of surviving the surgery. I’m stunned by this news. She is my only living grandparent. While we aren’t close, I fully expected that one day, I’d take my kids and Husband to spend Thanksgiving with her. That may not happen now.

We took the kids trick-or-treating with P and her girls on Friday.

Yesterday, they came over to our place for a bit, we ate a delicious dinner and just hung out. It was good for me. I have been spending my free time working on some knitted gifts for P and was able to give some of it to her. I finished up the scarf yesterday after she left.

I work this afternoon. I hate working Sundays, but we need the money. I asked for extra shifts, too. Hopefully it won’t suck to work some nights and I will actually earn some decent income from this place. In the meantime, we’ll still do what we can on the side to make it.