I’m Beautiful Like Me.

Since Monday, October 4th, for the first time in her life, I share a name with my Joy! It was very stressful for me leading up to it, but it was well worth the absolute jubilation she experienced at the news.

Last night, P and I went to see Clutch. That was a bit of a rude awakening. I have denied the gray hairs and faint fine lines in the mirror, but there was no denying how fucking loud that show was. I am obviously ill-prepared for Slayer/Megadeth/Anthrax next Tuesday!

School is very busy: exams, papers, club meetings, volunteering in the community and participating in Deaf events (Have I mentioned how very much I adore ASL?! ‘Cause I do.). There is so much reading. Good thing I’ve had lots of practice!

Considering that, I should be in bed. I’ve had a few manic episodes in the past week and that interferes with my ability to rest well. I’ve been in bed for hours, watching a bit of television between hours of reading and then rediscovering LibraryThing. Getting the nook for my birthday has really bumped up my ability to read more often. In the first month I owned it, I read every single Sookie Stackhouse novel. Right now, I’m reading Lamb by Christopher Moore. It’s fabulous.

Goodnight. Blessed Be.

My life has been overwhelmingly busy since I returned to school last fall. Here are the highlights:

I pulled through with straight A’s last semester, although only barely in one class. I really enjoyed my first semester back. Now, in the middle of my second semester, things are moving along. I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up and that is the biggest, most painful thorn in my side, but otherwise it’s okay. I have hit a few kinks earlier in the year, but I think we’re all smoothed out now. I hope!

Last October, my mom fell and broke 3 ribs. During the x-rays, they found she had pneumonia. She stayed in the hospital for almost a week. Then, just after Christmas, she suffered a stroke. They released her after only a few days. Her sister, my aunt, came up from Florida and spent a month helping her out. Meanwhile, I had another major falling out with Big Rob. Once again, we are not on speaking terms and of course, this only increases the tension between me and mom. In any event, I did nothing wrong and I’m trying to distance myself from the drama as best I can. And mom is doing really well.

Joy’s dad got himself into some trouble, as well. He has been on probation for a little less than a year and had a little less than another year to go, but he violated and then avoided going back to his PO. The police finally caught up to him in early February and last week he was sentenced to 13 months in the state penitentiary. Husband and I have been discussing adoption with Joy and she is very enthusiastic. She’s already told a few of her friends that she’s changing her last name to Husband’s.

Between the family drama, school stresses and the lousy weather, the past few months have been a bit tough on me with regards to mental health. However, the sunshine and taste of warmth we were blessed with this week was invigorating!

Just yesterday, P and I went for new tattoos! I’m terribly thrilled with them. They represent my beautiful kids. The yellow/orange one with the Libra glyph is Joy and the green/blue one with the Pisces glyph is Buddha.

Speaking of Buddha, he celebrated his 3rd birthday last week. Can you believe he’s 3 already?! Remember his 1st birthday?! How about his 2nd birthday? Crazy. I was taking it really well until the end of the day when I was adding the new videos I took of him into the computer with all of the old videos. Of course I had to watch the old videos and see just how much my baby has grown! Oy. I don’t think I cried, but I certainly could have. Nothing like becoming a parent to make a person feel old! Anyhow, I don’t like 3 so far. He’s whiny and prone to tantrums in recent weeks and I have little patience for it. Sigh.

All else is going well. I have very little time for leisure, so I haven’t knit or read (for fun) in too damn long. Heartbreaking! Between going to school full-time and Husband working and going to school, as well, it’s hectic. I’ll try very hard to be more consistent in posting! I miss you!

My father-in-law called at the last minute and invited us to meet him and my sister-in-law, Rebekah at Aunt M’s place in Smyrna, Tennessee. Rebekah has orientation at college today and they had some free time last night and wanted to visit with us. Husband had made other commitments, it’s been a year and a half since he’s seen his dad. Originally, Husband declined to meet his dad and sister. I had tried to finagle and work out some sort of plan so he could see his family and keep his commitment, but it just wasn’t possible to do both. He reluctantly broke his previous commitment, we picked Joy up from school right at 3:15pm and drove the three hours to Smyrna.

Husband drove most of the way. He’s looking a little scruffy. Both kids fell asleep in the car. 

I always get excited about the state signs.

We arrived at around 5:30 (Central Time). Grandpa welcomed us by giving the kids water-weapons.

Lucky us.

Especially Aunt Bekah.

(I threatened to "forget" them there. Unfortunately, Joy was on to my plan and made sure they made it into the car.)

Aunt M’s two daughters and their respective husbands and children accompanied them. I had met four of the six of them briefly before, three at brother-in-law’s wedding and the fourth when Aunt M visited us with her granddaughter. It was nice to see and meet everyone.

Aunt M and Husband’s cousin prepared quite a feast. Husband cooked the marinated steaks on the grill, there were mushrooms, onions, potato salad, garden salad, pasta salad, cole slaw, green beans, and ice cream cake in honor of the college-bound girl.

Aunt M’s place is really kid-friendly and the kids had great fun ripping through her house and yard with water-weapons and self-propelling cars.

At around 9pm, Husband’s cousins (and families) left and it got pretty quiet. Husband, his dad and Aunt M chatted in the dining room for a bit while I hung out with Bekah and Joy. Buddha was too busy playing with all the new toys to have time for anyone. He really had a blast. We were invited to spend the night, but since Bekah and Father-in-Law had an early morning, we opted to drive home. I admit, I prefer sleeping in my own bed. I got one last (super-great) photo before leaving.

Three generations

We made it home safely around 3:30am.

I’m really glad we went.

Yesterday, Husband spent the morning and part of the afternoon at the gun range with a friend. He was so happy to get to do some target practice, as it’s been so long. Unfortunately, my toothache was absolutely horrid. When he called to tell me he was on his way home, he asked what I was doing, to which I replied "Contemplating suicide." The pain was that bad. I tried to distract myself with knitting, television and playing on Facebook, but it just didn’t work. When I tried lying down with Buddha at naptime was the absolute worst. I seriously considered not keeping my commitment for today. I couldn’t imagine traveling 2 hours each way in the car with kids in that condition.

Luckily, I woke up this morning feeling much better. I woke up 30 minutes before the alarm (which, incidentally, Husband forgot to set). I took a quick shower, woke up the rest of the house and we packed up the car to head for Cincinnati to meet up with my mom-in-law, one of my four sis-in-laws and MIL’s friend and daughter. We planned to meet at the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Gardens for the day. Our carload arrived at about 10:30am.

However, just before reaching us, their carload was in a minor traffic incident and were delayed. The four of us headed on in to appease the restless baby. We watched the elephants get lunch and got to pet a penguin. 

Joy ended up taking most of the pictures of the animals at the zoo. She was better at it than I expected. She took gobs of pictures of the creatures in the insect exhibit that didn’t turn out (due to the glass), the big cats and several of the zebras (her long-time favorite).

I took many of the gorillas. They were great: the mama and baby, the grumpy old man, the majestic alpha and a few other females. I counted 6 in all.

A kind passer-by took a group shot for us. I love it, ‘cept rotten Buddha looked the other way.

After a while, it seemed like we were going in circles. We were tired, thirsty, hungry and Joy was eager to spend more time at the indoor exhibits, which is highly difficult with a party of our size, as well as a stroller weighed down with purses and a diaper bag. Plus, Buddha was having a hard time getting warmed up to his long-distance family members, which I know must be frustrating for Gramma. We decided to head over to McDonald’s, first because it’s cheap and more importantly, we all knew where it was located!

Gramma got Buddha to warm up to her by getting him some ice cream.   

We haven’t seen ‘em since other sis-in-law’s wedding in December of 2007, so it was really great to see them all again. Hopefully it won’t be as long until we can do it again. We love you all!

With the busy and eventful week and weekend we’ve had, I am very hopeful to just lie around tomorrow doing much of nothing. Maybe I’ll do some knitting and watch some movies, especially since my toothache is right back to kickin’ my ass this evening.

It’s been crazy around here this week! Husband has been busy with work Monday and Tuesday. Yesterday, I helped Big Rob out at the new shop since the people he’s been hiring apparently aren’t familiar with the alphabet. Meanwhile, Husband drove all over the city to straighten out some confusion with the station wagon we bought last month when the truck got sick and then handled the legalities so we’re legit with the whip. We spent a small fortune (that we really didn’t have - had to clean out the emergency savings account) to get much-needed work on the ride: an oil change, brakes and 4 new tires. Finally riding smoothly.

Today was Buddha’s follow-up appointment from his fracture was this morning. We waited two and a half hours for the orthopedist to say "Looks like it was never broke! Hope we don’t see you again." I was very frustrated by the long wait. We had to rush back across town to get Joy from school to get to our appointments by 1pm. I am now seeing her psychiatrist Dr. P. We are already acquainted, I’m very comfortable with him and he’s pretty cute, too. We discussed my history, meds I’ve tried before and even researched a newer drug that he’s never prescribed. He gave me a ’script of Zoloft. I start it tomorrow.

While I was meeting him alone for the first time today, she saw her therapist while Husband dozed and Buddha wreaked havoc in the waiting room. The poor kid was stuck in waiting rooms 75% of the day, with no nap. When our respective hours were up (hers with the therapist, mine with Dr. P), it was her turn with Dr. P. As we are returning to Dr. P’s office from rounding everyone up from the waiting room - we thought it a good idea for Dr. P to meet Husband and Buddha - Buddha rounded the corner too fast and bonked his head good on the door jamb. He grew a sizable goose egg on the right side of his noggin. My poor baby. Needless to say, it made for a very interesting and noisy half hour.

Yesterday, my darling, well-meaning yet evil, evil Husband made an appointment for me to see a dentist. Anyone who knows me knows damn good and well that I am absolutely terrified of the dentist and with good reason. Blissfully, Dr. P listened while I carried on quite animatedly about my anxiety and also gave me a short-term ’script for Xanax to take before my appointment. That coupled with several other outlets for describing and discussing my fear has set me a bit at ease about it. Make no mistake - I’m still very nervous, just less so than I was while listening to Husband make the appointment.

At this time, everyone is asleep and I’m enjoying some much needed peace and quiet without a huge list of chores to do. I think I might go peruse those knitting/crochet books I picked up at the library and catch up on the DVR. The weekend promises to be as busy as the week has been, but do look for an update again soon. I promise!

My apologies for the extended absence. I have been very busy with life! This is my catch up post, but I’ll attempt to keep it to the abbreviated version.

We joined the YMCA on March 17. I did very, very well; going 6 days a week for no less than 45 minutes and increased my water consumption 1000%…. until I got sick with allergies about a month ago. I have been having a hard time getting back into it. I have lost some weight, but not enough to boast about yet. I’ve even made a new friend! And I’ve been keeping an online journal with my friend and confidant P.

As I stated in an earlier post, I applied to U of L and for financial aid to attend. I was accepted to the school. I immediately applied for several scholarships for which I qualified and today I got very exciting news: I received a $3,000 scholarship! Earlier, I received word that I qualified for and will receive a $1,000 grant from the state. Very exciting! I haven’t crunched the numbers yet, but I will when I find out about a Pell grant and the rest of the scholarships for which I’ve applied.

Even more exciting is that I may finally know what I would like to do with my life. I watched a show on the Science Channel called "Connected: The Power of Six Degrees" and learned about a developing science called Network Theory that absolutely intrigues me. Unfortunately, there are very, very few schools that teach it, so I need to find something similar to focus on in the meantime. It’s airing again soon, so try to catch it!

I have been spending unhealthy amounts of time on Facebook. I’ve tracked down all sorts of old friends! It’s a little funny since I’ve been feeling pretty anti-social in the real world. If you are on there, join me!

Husband and I have been helping a friend of mom’s to sell most of his and his now-deceased wife’s belongings. The wife was a bit of a hoarder and the widower is overwhelmed with the sheer amount of stuff. Between the two of them, they had somewhere in the neighborhood of a dozen kids and none of them have been very helpful in assisting their father.

We did manage to get out for Husband’s birthday last Friday: a nice, quiet dinner at the Olive Garden. This weekend, I’m taking him to see both the new Terminator movie and his mom, who is traveling to Ohio. We’ll meet her in Cincinnati for a day at the zoo or somesuch.

Besides skipping the gym, I’ve also skipped several weeks of knit night now. I’m just feeling rather uninspired  lately. I made mom a nice pair of socks for Mother’s Day and started on another pair of socks, but I’m not digging how they are turning out. I should’ve frogged them a long time ago. This past weekend, I got my nephew B for a night and he accompanied Joy and I to the library. I’m hoping flipping through a book or two will help me become inspired to start something fresh. I’d love to make my soon-to-arrive nephew some booties or something.

I finished reading both So Long and Thanks for All the Fish as well as Your Heart Belongs to Me. The Adams book is likely my favorite in the series. I really, really enjoyed it. The Koontz book is likely one of my least favorites yet. It was very slow starting and a lot of the storyline went nowhere for me. Aside from getting knitting and crocheting books on our trip to the library, I also picked up B is for Beer. I haven’t read Robbins in a very long time and look forward to reading it.

Our little man turned 2 years old today. We had a gathering at our place on Sunday to celebrate. He still fit into his Birthday Prince shirt from last year, so I put it on him!

He was really into tearing off the wrapping paper to find the surprises inside and he has really enjoyed each gift he’s received. He got two sets of play tools, a "work bench" for pounding blocks, a big bottle of bubbles, a remote control car, a big bag of blocks, a potty chair and some pull-ups (both cloth and disposable). My mom’s friend, Mike C. gave Buddha a card that plays music when you open it. I think it might be his favorite.

He blew both of his candles out in one breath! It was hilarious watching him try to eat the giant cupcake. He kept complaining about the icing on his face.

After things settled down and we were getting ready for bathtime, I asked him if he wanted to try his potty chair. I sat him on it, naked as a jay-bird and daddy and I both praised him for being such a big boy. His response? "Dapper." Yeah, he requested a diaper. Potty training him will be loads of fun.

Today - his actual birthday - we took the kids to the park for a bit before dinner. He’s been bugging about getting those bubbles out. Suffice it to say the bottle is now empty.

Blessed Solar Return, my baby!